Forlorn on the Fourth of July (and since)

Sigh, well it has been a quiet couple of weeks (at least at home – much and more has been happening in the wide world, which I will be writing about soon) and the visa process is currently on hold while I wait for the funds to process the next part.  I’m feeling a little sad and discouraged, but this mostly to do with external factors.

Everything about how I want my and JT’s marriage to be, I learned watching my parents be madly in love with each other all their lives.

It is three years since my mother died, with the death of my father earlier this year, missing them both is weighing heavily on my mind. It is just that time of year where between Wimbledon (my father proposed to my mother on finals’ day) and American celebrations it think about them a lot. I want so much to be able to tell them what is happening with the visa, my hopes and fears for my future in America, how lucky and happy I am in my marriage and laugh about the randomness of Independence Day.

A lot of what I love about America was given to be by my parents. My father taught American Politics at university all his working life, my mother made his history lessons real by introducing my sisters and I to Laura Ingles Wilder and then actually taking us to America by winning a competition with Philadelphia Cheese.
Everything about how I want my and JT’s marriage to be, I learned watching my parents be madly in love with each other all their lives. The things they did together, the respect they had for each other, the support they provided each other and the way they divided up their marriage to reflect their strengths as individuals. My one consolation is that I told them this a lot.

Many of the values and traditions instilled in me are now benefiting JT’s children and I hope that they in turn will pass them on to their children, if that is the path in life they choose.

I’m happy, I’m lucky, I’m madly in love. Things are working out as they should and I really am grateful for all of this. But there is never enough time with the ones we love and perhaps that is the final lesson they have taught me, which I also hope I can pass on.


my parents just after their marriage
My parents just after their marriage

Born on the 4th of July is Oliver Stone’s powerful, Oscar-winning biopic of Ron Kovic, a patriotic all-American boy who returned from the war in Vietnam with terrible injuries and became a committed anti-war campaigner.


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